The games we play... Excellent poem!!

Read this poem somewhere, don't remember where, but its worth every minute of your time

The game we play,

is lets pretend

and pretend 

we're not pretending

we choose to

forget

who we are 

and then forget 

that we've forgotten

who are we really?

The center 

that watches and runs the show

that can choose which way it will go

the I AM

consciousness

that powerful

loving perfect

reflection

of the cosmos

but in our attempt

to cope with

early situations

we chose or were

hypnotized into

a passive position

to avoid punishment

or the loss of love

we chose to deny

our 

response/ability ,responsibility

pretending that

things just happened

or that we were

being controlled 

taken over

We put ourselves 

down

and have become

used to this

masochistic 

posture

this weakness

this

indecisiveness

but we are

in reality

free

center

of cosmic energy

your will is your power

don't pretend

you don't have it..

WHY NOT ?!?!

             Recently during one of my travels, I got to pondering about one thing, Why not? Yes, why not. We all know that almost everything the world has right now owes it to the one ultimate supreme word “Why?” . After all, its the source of all curiosity. We all seem to agree on its cumulative importance. And it is, after all that's the word that gave us many important inventions and discoveries. But I am not gonna talk about the importance of the word “Why”. Its well-known and very well-documented. Today, I am going to talk about its lesser known brother namely, “Why not?” It is the younger ,tamer sibling of the former and its lesser known, too. But it does go about its own business quietly and silently, never ever taking much credit for its successes but it does publicly owns up its failures and sometimes it's siblings's too. Scientist's and philosophers alike have always asked this question to almost about everything they see or feel or sense. Why always seems to give some  relevant answers. Newton discovered gravity because of it, its the same with Einstein, I guess Sigmund Freud and countless others like him. I guess its because of the curiosity and passion it arouses in people. But now in a world of infinite improbabilities, Why not is proving to be a better alternative than why. I mean it super-cedes why now-a-days. Just think about it, if there were no why not's, would there be any modern inventions beyond the why's ? I mean only why does seem to give the answers but the real point of inventions lie with the why not's. Take a moment and think about it. Just for an example, take the wheel. “Why” gave the answer to how it actually works, but it takes an equally brilliant mind to come with an equally brilliant question why not? Why not use it for something? Why not put one more and couple it with a horse to make a cart? Why not put two and two together coupled with an engine and build a stable machine with a transport?

Most of the whys in this world have already been answered, Just look at the list of books from the first one to the current one in the publishing house. Almost all books deal with why. To quote Will Smith, “There have millions and millions and gazillions of people that have lived before all of us. There's no new problem that you could have that someone already hasn't solved before, and wrote about it in a book”. So why bother with your stupid why's? Knowledge is the key and books are the source, so get on with it.

One thing I appreciate about the western world is that they don't bother much about dealing with past knowledge, they research further keeping in mind that they have a whole wide world of past knowledge, for their reference.They just don't waste time in re -learning everything. Just grab a hold of some basic concepts and surge forward knowing that you have all the data you need at your disposal. Whereas, we here are committed to re-learning every basic fact and memorizing them, instead of just looking them up whenever you need and move forward, You really learn while doing and not reading. So much for science..:p.  

So now there are very few why's that need to answered and they are real biggies too,but we should leave them to the experts. The real point forward from here on is asking why not? Why not like this? Why not like that? Its a revolutionary new way to look at the world. Some of the biggest discoveries were also discovered through the  same questions. Ex: the structure of benzene. :P

Now relating to life, no doubt that why does clear some doubts and perceptions but it also has a disadvantage. Almost naturally why is followed by Why me and sometimes, why always me?

And then comes the usual trap of this always happens to me, What wrong did I do to deserve this, Many people commit worse actions and are still happier than me,more successful than me, my motives were always good etc etc just to name a few.

I think the solution to this is shifting from thinking hard “why not?” instead of why and then forcefully following it by “why not me?” I know its difficult to answer but it just may be the answer to all of your miseries and dissatisfaction  Just at that instant, life will start to become clearer and you will be more satisfied with your current situation and you can strive to be better if you have a clear view of where you stand with respect to your goals. A quote from Hugh Prather,” There's no proof that at your current stage if your past choices would have made better results, there's a chance that it would have been worse or still it may have bought you exactly to the stage as you are now.". There's no need for lamenting over the fact that your choices could have been better, you could have worked harder. There's an almost equal chance that everything could fail given no fault of your own. So just own up your current situation and work up to what you want.

 Lets start a why not revolution in almost all phases of your life then and let your imaginations soar..   :) 

Breaking Free.. my first serious try at writing poems.. :)

                                                                      Breaking Free!!!

Don't wanna be somebody else's brave lil tiger,
Tired of doing things everybody else's way,
Sometimes i think i need to fight back,
And do all the things I do, my way.
Its a really big world out there,
With everybody trying to mould me their way,
But now I think i really need to fight back,
And do all the things my way... 

Its finally time now to wake up from a deep sleep,
A sleep though comfortable not at all tranquil,
Need to get out of that comfort zone and take a big leap,
Its only now I realize, the world's at my palm,
Just need to believe and reach out,
Recognizing I need to be my own brave lil tiger,
Only for my sake, no need at all to shout..
Belief's the word and curiosity's the key,
With freedom in my thought , am ready to boot,
I'm coming world, To thee..


Its a really big world out there,
With everybody trying to mould me their way,
But now finally I've broken free......

And with some generous contribution to this from Dr. Anand...

I am coming Oh! world unto thee
With all my spark and energy,
Don't harness my flow with your fears 
and let me freely flow oh dear!

let me soar amongst the larks
and with the daffodils in the park;
let grains of sand be on my feet,
And hands  left free to softly knead..
the dough of life as i feel!

Let me have liberty to fail, 
while attempting life's mountain to scale;
Let nothing deter me oh! my life, 
in dancing freely to my vibes!!

Notes to myself from Notes to Myself....

Sorry for the mixture of tangled thoughts into one... Will write in detail about each one in the future...

                                    Today ,NOW, I want to do things to be doing them,not to be doing something else. Don't want to live for,I want to live. The anxiety running through my life is the tension between what I should be and what I am. Anxiety doesn't come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it. Nothing I see will have an meaning ultimately.Nothing will even mean tomorrow what it did today. My meaningfullness is here,today.”What do I want in life?” Here I assume a reason for living that is seperate from life. But maybe we are not moving in a direction any more than the world is. The belief that the events of my life are supposed to “add up” causes me to justify my past actions and plan against the future.My only sure reward can be in my actions,not from them.A career will form behind me.All I can do is let this day come to me in peace.All I can do now is take the step before me now and not fear repeating an effort or making a new one..

                                      The past is over and the over and the future is not yet,the desires must therfore be in and for the present.

                                       Possibly the greatest crime we commit against each other is this daily show of normality.I have countless little conversations with people and the impression they give is that they dont have problems.Even complainers present themselves as victims. They dont suggest they're participating. They're all right ; its the circumstances that are wrong.The implication is that having a problem is a strange and aviodable weakness.When I come in repeated contact of this facade of normality I begin to assume that I too deserve such a life, and I get annoyed with the present and look upon my difficulties as unjust.Most people believe that their greatest weakness is their greatest strength.They attack in others what they themselves do in a different form.

                                        Once I recognize that I am feeling the same feelings as someone else,yet I consciously choose not to carry them out,I free myself from the possibility,provided I can also recognize that this is no sacrifice.

                                        Battling myself over so hard about how I should feel that I didn't pause long enough to see how I feel.Its not we fear the place of darkness but that we don't think we are worth the effort to find the place of light. Unless I accept my faults, I will unquestionably doubt my virtues.

                                         Next time I want to be more honest and state that I do what I do because I want to do it.If I have to do it, I dont have to admit that I want to, or look at my motive for why I want to.

                                         What I want are words that reflect my heart,not my cleverness.Fear is based on the belief that I am safer not seeing.Awareness is the first step to freeing the mind. I must not only hear the fear out but question it closely as to the answer it is suggesting. I want to be aware of what others expect but not despotized by it. The way to be most helpful to others is for me to do the thing that right now would be most helpful to me.

                                           Wanting to do something is a desire,not a sentence. When I decide what I want,I translate my desire into a sentece and then follow the sentence; I take the desire out of my heart and put it into my ego. Asking myself, “ What should I do?” brings to mind my habitual answers to that question,it brings in what the voices from my past would want me to do, and it ignores the fact that there are probably no adequate words to describe where my heart is leading me this instant.

                                              I can get more directly at what I am feeling most deeply if I think I instead of you.

                                               A healthier approach would be to accept the desire and simply seek to learn its direction,seek to clarify it rather than judge it. Believing that my intellect alone must choose makes my body into an object and splits me.

                                              I have two ways of discovering the areas where I fail myself. The first is acknowledging the qualities in others that irritate me. The second is acknowledging the comments that have made me defensive.I look for ways to justify attacking back- never fully admitting my true motive.

Now that I know when I criticize another I am seeing my own fault,I like to be very honest and very specific in my criticism. After I get it straight how I think this fault works in someone else,I can then look at my own behavior with a surprising new clarity. Remain aware of ur defensiveness, but yet be careful not to push the other person to behave in a way that would justify my desire to attack..

                               Its such a chore to talk to him,Why is he such a drag? Versus this: I make such a chore for myself when I talk to him.How do I make it so hard? People liking me was a comment on me, but it was a comment on them.

                                I don't feel “I want”. I feel “I lack”.I decide “I want”. I must be more careful now before making the jump from “I feel” to “I must have.”What I didnt realize that I hated having to shield myself, the hard and unpleasant work of acting without acknowledging it. Now that I feel freer to let myself alone and allow others to like or dislike me as they choose,I have lost much of this aversion.

                                 I wish I could love what humanity has built just because humanity has built it.How do I get love? I have it. I must drop my definitions of love. Love is not saying things to people or smiling or doing good deeds. Love is love. Don't strive for love. Be it.....

Extreme!!!! (Another Amateur post..)

                                 It’s been many days since I’ve updated my blog and frankly I was on the verge of quitting writing completely. But now many things have changed in the past few months and especially more so in the past few days. These past three or four days have been a kind of a revolution in my life, they have taught me many things, things that maybe I’d known before but didn’t take them seriously at all..

                                 Today’s blog is about one such thing I realized in the past few days; I am going to talk or rather write about it. So the thing that I am about to talk as is obvious from the title is extremities. Yes it’s about living life in the extremes.

                                I’ve had a great time experimenting with the extremes, naturally I am or I always was an extreme person; atleast I thought I was. But I tried to become consciously & subconsciously a moderate person for the last few years I mean around 4-5 years. I know that’s quite a long span of time to experiment with yourself, but some experiments do take time to come to the final conclusion. Anyways the final conclusion I came to was, well you can guess is “Moderation is totally over-rated.” You don’t actually know about anything if you do it in moderation. In order to live a life (and by that I mean living and not surviving) you must experience everything to its fullest with its advantages as well as repercussions of it.

                                   I was just playing with my dog yesterday and I suddenly realized what he was doing, he was just enjoying the moment as if there was no tomorrow. He was living fully in the moment and doing everything in the extremes, extreme happiness, extreme excitement, loving fully however the person in front of him was, whatever I did, regardless of my past and baggage. I mean I don’t have that kind of emotional baggage but whatever I wasn’t exactly playing with life, I was “trying to be normal, doing everything in moderation” and it showed. I lost my life to moderation, I refused many opportunities just to be in the moderate safe zone, became shy and closed, yes I have some regrets about it but still it was good to experiment, I learnt something which some people take years to understand and possibly die of it.

                                  I can’t really say it was a good experience because I had to face many things because of which I almost turned a recluse. I lost many opportunities to make new friends many cool projects which would further my so-called career among many other things.

I don’t mean that my career is sinking or I have bad friends, god knows that I’ve got the best of friends that a person could get in this universe, but I admit my career would’ve been in much better shape if I’d taken this seriously and studied to the extremes, I mean I studied like most students do(striving just to get passing marks, no extra efforts), but now I’ve realized the secret is going for it all, win it or lose it, there’s no other way to enjoy your studies.

                                   So the fact of the matter is that life is lived only in the extremes, life kind of loses its value when lived in moderation without much risks. I’ve heard this somewhere “You only live life when you fear and still go against it. It’s only when your heart beats fast that you actually live, everything else is just breathing and surviving.”

It’s the times like when you propose for the first time; own up a mistake in front of your professors; accidently screwing up and then waiting for the consequences or deliberately doing something that you know is wrong, I am not preaching doing this, but it’s quite exciting nevertheless. Another important fact I remember is from a book titled “Brida” written by Paulo Coelho. It’s quite an interesting little book. There’s a scene in the book where the central figure’s dad asks her how’s the water of a lake or a river, I don’t exactly remember, then she dips one of her toes inside the water and says it’s quite cold, then her father throws her into the water and then asks her how the water is, again. Then she replies that it has become warmer. An important lesson to be learned here is whenever you want to do something new just immerse in it, it always looks cold at first, just immerse into it fully and then you’ll begin to enjoy it. I am sure most of you have experienced this water thing.

                                                      And yes finally as everything extremum too has its disadvantages, you tend to really crash down and fall flat and you seem to have lost everything when something you do fails. But there is a reason why you failed and if you have the right amount of courage you can lift yourself higher than before and live life more. You do seem to lose interest in living but I guess you can’t live life unless you accept that death is something we need. Once you are at your lowest you can see only one way and that is ahead because there’s nothing behind you. Maybe that’s why they say,” Sometimes we really need a great fall to stand up again.”

                                                              Finally another quote, " Screwing up is good, it shows that you are playing life to your limits."Anyways now it’s time for me to go, got to get back to studying. I got back writing to this blog today since I overdid my jogging and my back still hurts so I wasn’t able to study during the day, and yes writing is my one of my passions and I was stupid to let it go because of a few bad comments. And as for me I am going to live my life to the extreme..So catch you later..

Publishing in sleep mode !!

                            So, it sure has been a lot of time since my last entry, which was I guess a long shot from what was supposed to be my original topic for this blog.Anyways its always nice to introduce yourself {in my case its totally necessary since i am an exceptional case(maybe)}. So if you know me, you should probably expect me to do the some of the  things that i do, like in this case, procrastination.
                           Anyways, turning right back to the topic. Its been quite a while and since my first blog entry many of the things in my life have changed, right from the location to the time which is , as always, changing. It took me a lot of effort and a lot of pushing from friends to start writing again.
                           The last month was a mixed lot of emotions, I left a bunch of few close friends back in Mumbai and came to another set of friends in Chennai. Life is a very funny thing (well, its not a thing ,actually its a concept ,a meta-physical one and don't even bother to ask me what it is, even i don't know clearly about it). Sometimes , well actually all the time, I wonder about the answer to life, I wonder if there even is an answer to it or it is an answer to another question which i don't know about.. Life is so full of questions which are non-answerable and full of answers which are unquestionable(Yes, there is a lot of difference between these two).I know there has been a lot of research on this topic and still its going on in many ways and many places.
                            Any-which-ways life is a by-product of well ,you know what, we were born along by chance and we try to control life as soon as possible. But the more we try to control life the more life amazes us (like the other day when I planned to visit the beach with my friends , we ended up in a cinema hall watching Lafangey Parindey, I can't really comment which one would have been better) .It's stupid to question life , if you question it you will get depressed, if you just enjoy everything at the moment, everything in life will amaze you.Anyways i already told you about the unanswerable questions and the unquestionable answers..Life is one of them or probably both of them.There are many such questions in my mind, like "Is pizza better than a burger?"(I know people will have a lot to say on both sides, but I still believe questions like these are unanswerable).Like this there are people who can say a lot stressing on both sides.I've always wondered about the phrase " The grass is always greeneer on the other side." People always say this whenever they aren't satisfied with their current condition, but when they stand for something (i mean when they support), they don't even look on the other side and start imposing their own grass.
                              Life according to me should be like a cloud, floating away gently wherever life takes you and still have a purpose (Hello!!!, clouds do have a purpose.Where do you think it rains from??) and if you are floating, you could always look at both the sides and decide which side is greener or better still float in  the middle of the river seperating the two sides and laugh like hell on the ignorance of both sides.
                              I read this somewhere, "We spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs: to want, to have, and to do" and thought that this is applicable to most of us.But this shouldn't be, life isn't limited , well in a sense it is, but what the hell, it doesn't matter have many moments of life you have ,the things that matter are how much life you have in those moments.Well, according to me (You don't have to believe me ,I am one of those crazy tried and tested guys, You can also try on your own, though it is not recommended until you reach the age of 60, when you have enough time to do everything else), you don't have to do anything special , just take life as it comes and leave the rest .Well that's the best way I've come up with 21 years of research.I am still digging for more, but I'll let you know as i come to get it.
                              Anyways, now I got to go, as i am seriously sleep-deprived.I still haven't got time to format the text and images and all, but it's only Words and Words are all I  have, right now. So see you next time.. Bye...

About the blog..

                                    Actually, this is my first blog. I've been meaning to write a blog from about the past 50 light years. Just kidding, I am not not that old , my age is only around 49 light years.Yep as you can see by now, I am one of those crazy, stupid introverts who write big blogs about actually nothing.Now-a-days everybody who is a somebody writes a blog, and I am one such nobody who wants to be somebody in this world which I think is even crazier than me..Enough about me, Lets start ..
                                    My blog is titled "Life as I see it", I know this sounds a little something like "The world as I see it" which is ,rather was, written by Mr. Albert Einstein. But I guess its not patented well enough. But we , by we I mean that me and Mr. Albert Einstein have many things in common, for instance "hairstyles".We have more things in common but that things are left to the imagination of the reader of this stupid blog. Well, I know most people will think "Everybody has his own life, so why bother reading about this stupid blog?".And the reason is exactly the same thing . You should read this blog because it is crazy and from an entirely crazy person's point of view.I was going to give a different title to this blog like "My experiments with life" as you all know is a little bit copied from Mahatma Gandhi. But I am sure, he would have allowed me to use this title, since he fought for freedom and anyways I didn't perform many experiments with life since I am still alive at this very moment (Experiments fail sometimes, you know.) And anyways the current title in my mind clicked and so that's it.
                                      I consider myself the biggest procrastinator in this whole wide and spherical world. So you would ask why I actually started writing this blog, the reason is one of my friends and a movie.I saw a movie called yes-man where the actor has to say yes to everything  that he is confronted with. Since I was a little bored now, I decided that I should try it too(Its selective). And when I called my friend the next day, she told me that I should write a blog since she thought that I was crazy enough , and crazy people do get a lot of followers and I could dominate the world in couple of light years. So I thought  why not?? So this was how this blog was born..But the real reason for writing this blog was the inspiration that google would finance me to write this blog and I could be a multi-billionaire in a couple of years(I hope this happens before I finish my degree.)
                                          Phew, writing a blog sure is a lot of hard work..I'll try to update it atleast twice a week, since I am a little busy doing nothing right now.So all those crazy people people out there, wait for my new post. It'll be out by the next, I dont know(Its a lot of hard work, you know).But from the next time, I'll start writing about the thing I actually wanted to write about that is "Life as I see it...". 
                                          I know this blog isn't that attractive without all that text and image formatting shit. But i am still in the learning phase. Hope you understand..